I am continually amazed at the number of super-sincere, dedicated, committed Christians who are doing their best to follow Jesus. In every country where I travel, in Canada, Brazil, and the United States and also South Africa, Ethiopia, Angola, and Mozambique, sincere Christians are embedded in communities. I am honoured to know them and to be their friend.
It’s not just people, either, who try hard. One of our dogs always runs up to me when she sees me in the yard. She sits in front of me, wrinkles her forehead, and stares at me. She tries so hard to be obedient and please me that I feel sorry for her. It is impossibly hard for her to understand my world.
Thankfully God came to earth to help bridge the understanding gap between us humans and Himself. But still… what do we do when we are trying our best to obey God and do the right things, and it doesn’t seem to be enough? What happens when we sacrificially serve God, and we are misunderstood, people criticize us, friends leave our church, or our husband/wife/children act in ways that don’t make sense? It is a short distance between trying your hardest and developing a victim mentality. “I know I am doing my best, so the problem must be somewhere else.” Maybe there is a better way forward.
A Different Gear
If a leader gets stuck along the development path of those they are/were leading, it may be like a truck driver who doesn’t shift gears in a mountainous region. They keep trying their best with the gear they are comfortable with, but other trucks pass them, and people are honking and impatient… it’s dangerous.
In Genesis 2:24, the biblical author included a foundational principle of human relationships. There is a time we are like God to our children. We provide all they need to live. Our children become adults and develop their own relationships directly with God. Our family authority/responsibility/power relationship slowly shifts. Our power-over relationship shifts to a side-by-side peer relationship.
In my observation, this organic-relationship principle is true in families, teams, church plants, and movements. A different style of organizing is hierarchical, where submission is an important doctrine, and this appears to work well for some groups of people. But, when Christian leaders are trying their best, and their followers act in ways that seem bizarre, perhaps the followers are not actually rebellious but crying out to mature as people and as Christians.
Why Do We Hesitate To Shift Gears?
We Might Feel Responsible For our Followers
For sincere followers of Jesus, feeling responsible for followers is a big deal. The problem comes in when your followers do not agree that you are responsible, or at least not in the way you are trying to protect them. For example, have you ever tried to help someone who does not want your help? How did that work out for you? Have you ever tried to give counsel to someone who did not want your counsel?
We Might Feel Responsible to God
The most sincere Christians feel their responsibility to God. They are not afraid of sacrifice. They will make difficult decisions when necessary. The challenge is that when we overpower those around us for the greater good, who knows who is right? Jesus said the time was coming when people would think they were serving God while persecuting the disciples. People who want to follow God sincerely may work against God.
“For you will be expelled from the synagogues, and the time is coming when those who kill you will think they are doing a holy service for God” (NLT, John 16:2).
The Transition
When God has leaders who sincerely want to serve Him, God is capable and willing to orchestrate circumstances to get their attention. The question is the shifting target of when to press in, and when to change our ways. Jesus has some advice.
Jesus’ Solution
Lower the Hierarchies
Jesus thinks it’s not only ok for His disciples to lay down their burden of authority, but He is also willing to pick it up if we will only work to connect people to Him. People are most ready to turn to Jesus when they are hurting, but when leaders strive to protect their followers from mistakes and pain, sometimes they risk short-circuiting God’s work. Does that make sense?
But you are not to be called rabbi, for you have one teacher, and you are all brothers. And call no man your father on earth, for you have one Father, who is in heaven. Neither be called instructors, for you have one instructor, the Christ. The greatest among you shall be your servant” (Matt. 23:8-11).
Servant Leadership
Jesus taught that God desires servant leaders.
But Jesus called them to him and said, “You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their great ones exercise authority over them. It shall not be so among you. But whoever would be great among you must be your servant, and whoever would be first among you must be your slave, even as the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.” (Matt. 20:25-28).
In God’s Kingdom, the leaders work to serve their followers. When we study the example of Jesus, we see He did not mean that leaders lose their self and lose their way, but rather that they continue resiliently on their journey to heaven while serving those around them.
Servant Leadership is characterized by leaders who put their followers above their bottom line. The hope is that if the leader selflessly serves their followers, the followers will respond with their best efforts.
Do you have experience with Servant Leaders in your family, church, school, or work? Do you think that servant leadership is possible in families, marriages, churches, and businesses?
If you have relationship challenges, what would happen if you let go of your “right” to authority over others or their authority over you? What if the Holy Spirit could teach you Servant Leadership, Holy Indifference, and Passionate Love for God and Neighbors, all at once?
Your thoughts?
Please note: I reserve the right to delete comments that are offensive or off-topic.