My Dream
This week I had a dream. Deanna and I were on a long road trip. Somewhere along the way, we were stopped temporarily for construction. When we got going again, we came to a fork in the road. While most of the traffic went one way, our GPS clearly indicated our route was the other way, up a steep mountain road that narrowed the higher we got. Two big motorcycles had gone up ahead. Suddenly they were in front of me, doing three-point turns to head back. I had to brake suddenly to avoid hitting one of them. We wondered why they had turned around and there was no other traffic, but we kept going. Was the road closed? Soon we reached a viewpoint pullover where we could see a town down in the valley where the other road had gone. We decided to turn around, have lunch in the town, and get more info about our road. The town was peaceful, full of people living comfortably, and it had city parks, a Dairy Queen, and a Tim Hortons. We ate in a cafe. Everyone was busy, chatting goodnaturedly in small circles. Finally, I interrupted a group and spoke to a 50-year-old man who looked like he had experience. “How is that other road, the one that goes up the mountain?” He looked up at the mountain. It was getting dark. It was starting to sleet. Visibility was low. The road faded into the low-hanging clouds. The man pointed up to the mountain road and then at the peaceful town. Then he looked at me skeptically. “Think about it. Do you want to go up there?” I realized the man was not telling me about the road. He was telling me the attitude of the people in the town. I woke up thinking about the road less traveled. I remembered a poem by Robert Frost and a book from Mom’s bookshelf.
The Road Less Traveled
by Robert Frost.
…
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
The Bible and the Road Less Traveled
“Much of the Old Testament is not written by people by mainstream Israelites but by fringe people” (Tim Mackie, Bible Project).
Think about how the prophets in the Old Testament often critiqued the Kings and the people. While the Northern Kingdom had a few good kings, the Southern Kingdom led the people away from God, and the people allowed themselves to be led. The prophets, as part of the group, spoke into those situations. They spoke from the vantage point of a road less traveled.
Imagine that the road more traveled is the human tendency to build our own Gardens of Eden, to make our own security, often by dominating others. Jesus had another idea.
Then Jesus spoke to the crowds and to His disciples,
saying: “The scribes and the Pharisees have seated themselves in the chair of Moses;
therefore all that they tell you, do and observe, but do not do according to their deeds;
for they say things and do not do them.
“They tie up heavy burdens and lay them on men’s shoulders, but they themselves are unwilling to move them with so much as a finger.
“But they do all their deeds to be noticed by men; for they broaden their phylacteries and lengthen the tassels of their garments.
“They love the place of honor at banquets and the chief seats in the synagogues, and respectful greetings in the market places, and being called Rabbi by men.
“But do not be called Rabbi; for One is your Teacher, and you are all brothers.
“Do not call anyone on earth your father; for One is your Father, He who is in heaven.
“Do not be called leaders; for One is your Leader, that is, Christ.
“But the greatest among you shall be your servant.
“Whoever exalts himself shall be humbled; and whoever humbles himself shall be exalted (Matt. 23:1-12).
Differentiation of Self
Bowen Family Systems Theory posits that to the extent we are fused to other people, we will struggle with chronic anxiety. Let’s say, for example, you love your child and cannot bear to see them hurt. Whenever they hurt you get very anxious and act to fix things up. This is a good thing while the child is a baby, but what if you still respond this way when the child is an adult? The fusion may pass to other people as well, such as an overwhelming desire to please your leader. Anxiety about something over which you have no control leads to chronic stress. Differentiation of Self is when people learn to clearly articulate their position, while still remaining friends with their people.
Jesus is talking about the Differentiation of Self in the Beatitudes. Jesus compared the disciples of today to the prophets of old.
“Blessed are those who have been persecuted for the sake of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
“Blessed are you when people insult you and persecute you, and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of Me.
“Rejoice and be glad, for your reward in heaven is great; for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you (Matt: 5:10-12).
Servant Leadership?
But Jesus called them to Himself and said, “You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their great men exercise authority over them.
“It is not this way among you, but whoever wishes to become great among you shall be your servant,
and whoever wishes to be first among you shall be your slave;
just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life a ransom for many” (Matt. 20:25-28).
What is your experience with Servant Leadership?
Is it a good idea, or wishful thinking for a perfect world?
Do you think it works in today’s culture?
What if everything goes wrong? Does it still work?
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