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Encontro Event

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Encontro Events are weekends that are dedicated to a life reset.

Last weekend a church from across town used the mission property to host an Encontro Event for their people.

About half the people are helpers and half the people are participants.

The participants are new believers or those who sense their lives need a reset.

From Friday night to Sunday morning, the participants give up their phones and take a vow of silence.

The idea is that they will give 48 uninterrupted hours to attend to their spiritual lives.

The helpers make sure there is plenty of coffee, cold water, and good food, and do everything possible to make the participants feel loved and undistracted.

The teaching includes how to repent, give and receive forgiveness, how to celebrate, how to pray, and how to bless others.

The weekend ends with a great celebration at their church, with worship, testimonies, and reuniting with families.

Our Experience

The idea of separating time to seek God with friends is a good idea.

The Old Testament rhythms of church life included many annual feasts, and some were a week long. Every year.

I wonder if the next season of revival/renewal will include something like this.

The Encontros started in Brazil with the G12 cell group movement, which included a top-down system of government and was difficult for many. The strong hierarchical system didn’t work for me, for example.

There are many challenges to gathering with Christian friends for days on end to seek God.

a) If you are poor, how can you leave work, and how can you afford to go?

b) If you are wealthy, do you want to use your discretional time this way?

Maybe the only way to do this is to prioritize your whole life around your spiritual values. Your thoughts?

Thank you to everyone who helped us build and maintain these facilities so people can reset their lives here.

In light of eternity,
Seasons of getting away
With friends to seek God
Is a good idea
And worth
Serious
Consideration.
Your thoughts?

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Untriggered?

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One of the first things Jesus did when he started His public ministry was to clarify the meaning of the rules in the Old Testament (Matt. 5-7).

“You have heard that the ancients were told, ‘YOU SHALL NOT COMMIT MURDER’ and ‘Whoever commits murder shall be liable to the court.’
“But I say to you that everyone who is angry with his brother shall be guilty before the court; and whoever says to his brother, ‘You good-for-nothing,’ shall be guilty before the supreme court; and whoever says, ‘You fool,’ shall be guilty enough to go into the fiery hell (Mt. 5:21-22). “You have heard that it was said, ‘YOU SHALL NOT COMMIT ADULTERY’; 
but I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart (Matt. 5:27-28).
Five times in Mattew 5, Jesus says, “This is how you understand the law, but our requirements are much higher…”.

The Bible begins with the revolutionary thought that everyone is created in God’s image. Their neighbors in Egypt, Babylon, and Assyria often thought that their kings were the image of their gods, but only the Israelites believed that all people were created in God’s image.

Remembering that all people are created in God’s image makes it easier to obey Jesus’ commands.

But how do we genuinely love God and people? 

Assume for a minute that many extreme feelings are caused by unexplored anxiety. 
 The Challenge of Anxiety
Take Cain, for instance. What made him murderously angry at Abel?

Or what about Joseph’s brothers? What made them mad enough at their brother to sell him into slavery?

Does their anger at their brother seem reasonable from our perspective today?

How could they have dealt with anxious feelings, if they had our perspective?
 Options
There are four common ways that people deal with anxiety (Bowen, 1978).

1. Anger
2. Distance (emotional, geographical, or both)
3. Adapting (over or under-functioning)
4. Triangling (gossip).

While the four options above are all useful in small doses, over time people often develop a favorite. People get triggered and overuse their favorite response, and they end up in big trouble.
 Imagine a Fifth Option.
What if you could safely explore your anxiety with God?
Rather than pretend your anxiety doesn’t exist, what if you brought it to the light?
Sometimes this works better with a trusted friend.

The emotional distance sometimes helps others have a better perspective of the way forward.

For example, what if Cain or Joseph’s brothers had a trusted advisor?
Maybe Cain could have realized he was actually mad at God.
Maybe Joseph’s brothers could have realized they were upset about their father’s favoritism and talked to him about it.

But what if the brothers talked to their dad about his irresponsible favoritism, and he got mad?

This is the circle of life for Godly people.

In an ideal world, Jacob could have reflected on conversations with his sons and considered the consequences of his favoritism.
Jacob could have made some changes.
And the brothers could have each learned to deal with their own issues by watching their dad.
Even without their dad’s good example, they could have examined their anxiety and made better choices.
 Systems Thinking
We cannot change others, but we can change ourselves.

When we change, our people have to change to accommodate the new us.

Imagine if you could learn to sit with your emotions to identify your favorite response.

Maybe God could show you your triggers, and how to stop responding with anger, distance, adapting, or triangling.

People around you will get uncomfortable.

They will wonder what is wrong.

They will react.

Eventually, the system will improve.

Then God will give you a bigger challenge.

This is the circle of the Christian life.

Leaders who get triggered cause pain.

God is looking for trustworthy, untriggered people who He can trust with true authority.

PS: Please don’t hear me say to keep trying even harder. I have gotten into trouble by trying my hardest. Relaxing, enjoying life, and slowing down to examine personal anxiety in God’s presence is a good starting place. From that place, God will give you the next step. God wants to bless the world through you, and the way forward often passes through unexpected territory.
 And the city has no need of the sun or of the moon to shine on it, for the glory of God has illumined it, and its lamp is the Lamb. The nations will walk by its light, and the kings of the earth will bring their glory into it (Rev. 21:23-24).ReferencesBowen, M. (1978). Family therapy and clinical practice. Jason Aaronson.

 Your thoughts?
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Favorite Photos

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This is my artistic interpretation of the cloud in front of our house. Have you ever thought about how nice it is that God gave us continually shifting skies?
Clouds add a nice touch to our playground where we interact and make choices with our people.

I don’t know the story behind these boots in front of a neighbor’s house, but they reminded me of many friends who are closer than they used to be to this stage of life.

Oh Yeah!!! We can have some fun with this food! This is Kawue, who Deanna took care of for the first 12 days of his life.

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The Greatest Gift

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The greatest gift we can give our children is

a) a sense of wonder combined with
b) gratefulness at this awesome world God has created for us, and
c)the awesome group of people he placed around us.

If parents can do that, their children are set up to obey the two greatest commandments, to love God with all their heart and their neighbors as themselves (Matt. 22:36-40).

Of course, most lessons are caught more than taught. 

Living a life of wonder and gratefulness is a gift to yourself and others.
 Our girls posted this series of photos in our group chat.

While I do not remember the actual event, I remember our family culture.

We didn’t have much money, and we never felt poor. Not once. I cannot remember one time.

We got some boards from the lumberyard and placed them over bricks. That served as cupboards for seven years.

I bought Deanna two wooden chairs for our kitchen table for her birthday. The girls sat on a homemade bench. For years.

And we never felt poor. Life was rich and filled with wonder.

In the first photo, Olivia got a new flavor of toothpaste. We all knew she would share it, but how cool! A new flavor to enjoy for many days.






How To Achieve More Enjoyment in Life
1. Start with the simplest thing you take for granted. Your breath. Each breath is a gift from God. With the gift stops, your avatar, your body, will quit working. But for now, it’s working. Take time to appreciate it, and to appreciate God for each breath. You can do this several times a day, like whenever you get tempted to be stressed or overwhelmed. God is right there, still giving you the gift of breath.

Have you ever given someone a gift and over time they become ungrateful, demanding more and more like it is their right when you meant for it to be a gift? You might even try harder than ever until you are at your wit’s end because nothing seems to delight them anymore. *** Don’t be that person for God. ***
 Then the LORD God formed man of dust from the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living being (Gen. 2:7).
2. When you are quiet for a while, enjoying your breath and thanking God for it, ask God to increase your sense of wonder and gratefulness.

Some people think that foodies have a gift, and they only enjoy the very best cuts of meat and the best cooking. I disagree. I think I’m a foodie because I love almost everything. It’s a gift.

3. Ask God to bless others through you. God wants to manage this earth through people. God wants to bless people through you! He wants you to bless your people for Him. Pray to learn how His system works.

a). Write out a list of all your people. This takes a while. Maybe several days. You might start with family, and then friends, neighbors, church people, school people, work people, enemies, government people in all the countries you can think of, etc., etc. Then seek to bless those people as you get opportunities.

b). God created all people in His image. Find the image of God in your people. Talk good about them. If you can’t think of anything, ask God.
 God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them (Gen. 1:27).
What if all Christians lived lives full of wonder and gratefulness? We would be happier, for one thing, and so our their people.

Your thoughts?
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Deanna and Anni Both Graduated with an MA

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I don’t know which is the best age to do your Masters,

But though they live continents apart

Anni and Deanna

Both graduated at the same time,

With a degree to help others more effectively.

Both celebrated at home,

In combination with another celebration.

Anni’s party combined with their “Girls Night,” and 

Deanna’s party combined with Mother’s Day

Silmara, far left, black shirt, made Deanna’s Grad Cake and her black grad hat.

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The Road Less Taken?

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My Dream

This week I had a dream. Deanna and I were on a long road trip. Somewhere along the way, we were stopped temporarily for construction. When we got going again, we came to a fork in the road. While most of the traffic went one way, our GPS clearly indicated our route was the other way, up a steep mountain road that narrowed the higher we got. Two big motorcycles had gone up ahead. Suddenly they were in front of me, doing three-point turns to head back. I had to brake suddenly to avoid hitting one of them. We wondered why they had turned around and there was no other traffic, but we kept going. Was the road closed? Soon we reached a viewpoint pullover where we could see a town down in the valley where the other road had gone. We decided to turn around, have lunch in the town, and get more info about our road. The town was peaceful, full of people living comfortably, and it had city parks, a Dairy Queen, and a Tim Hortons. We ate in a cafe. Everyone was busy, chatting goodnaturedly in small circles. Finally, I interrupted a group and spoke to a 50-year-old man who looked like he had experience. “How is that other road, the one that goes up the mountain?” He looked up at the mountain. It was getting dark. It was starting to sleet. Visibility was low. The road faded into the low-hanging clouds. The man pointed up to the mountain road and then at the peaceful town. Then he looked at me skeptically. “Think about it. Do you want to go up there?”  I realized the man was not telling me about the road. He was telling me the attitude of the people in the town. I woke up thinking about the road less traveled. I remembered a poem by Robert Frost and a book from Mom’s bookshelf.

The Road Less Traveled

by Robert Frost.

For the full poem click here.

…

I shall be telling this with a sigh

Somewhere ages and ages hence:

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—

I took the one less traveled by,

And that has made all the difference.


The Bible and the Road Less Traveled

“Much of the Old Testament is not written by people by mainstream Israelites but by fringe people” (Tim Mackie, Bible Project).

Think about how the prophets in the Old Testament often critiqued the Kings and the people. While the Northern Kingdom had a few good kings, the Southern Kingdom led the people away from God, and the people allowed themselves to be led. The prophets, as part of the group, spoke into those situations. They spoke from the vantage point of a road less traveled.

Imagine that the road more traveled is the human tendency to build our own Gardens of Eden, to make our own security, often by dominating others. Jesus had another idea.

Then Jesus spoke to the crowds and to His disciples,
saying: “The scribes and the Pharisees have seated themselves in the chair of Moses;
therefore all that they tell you, do and observe, but do not do according to their deeds;
for they say things and do not do them.
“They tie up heavy burdens and lay them on men’s shoulders, but they themselves are unwilling to move them with so much as a finger.
“But they do all their deeds to be noticed by men; for they broaden their phylacteries and lengthen the tassels of their garments.
“They love the place of honor at banquets and the chief seats in the synagogues, and respectful greetings in the market places, and being called Rabbi by men.
“But do not be called Rabbi; for One is your Teacher, and you are all brothers.
“Do not call anyone on earth your father; for One is your Father, He who is in heaven.
“Do not be called leaders; for One is your Leader, that is, Christ.
“But the greatest among you shall be your servant.
“Whoever exalts himself shall be humbled; and whoever humbles himself shall be exalted (Matt. 23:1-12).


Differentiation of Self

Bowen Family Systems Theory posits that to the extent we are fused to other people, we will struggle with chronic anxiety. Let’s say, for example, you love your child and cannot bear to see them hurt. Whenever they hurt you get very anxious and act to fix things up. This is a good thing while the child is a baby, but what if you still respond this way when the child is an adult? The fusion may pass to other people as well, such as an overwhelming desire to please your leader. Anxiety about something over which you have no control leads to chronic stress. Differentiation of Self is when people learn to clearly articulate their position, while still remaining friends with their people.

Jesus is talking about the Differentiation of Self in the Beatitudes. Jesus compared the disciples of today to the prophets of old.

“Blessed are those who have been persecuted for the sake of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
“Blessed are you when people insult you and persecute you, and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of Me.
“Rejoice and be glad, for your reward in heaven is great; for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you (Matt: 5:10-12).


Servant Leadership? 

But Jesus called them to Himself and said, “You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their great men exercise authority over them.
“It is not this way among you, but whoever wishes to become great among you shall be your servant,
and whoever wishes to be first among you shall be your slave;
just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life a ransom for many” (Matt. 20:25-28).

What is your experience with Servant Leadership?

Is it a good idea, or wishful thinking for a perfect world?

Do you think it works in today’s culture?

What if everything goes wrong? Does it still work?

Your thoughts?

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Happy Mother’s Day

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The season of time surrounding when Mom crossed over to the other side was perfect last year. We are so grateful to God and to everyone who made it possible for us to come back to Canada to live with her for those last weeks in Garden Park. Sometimes over the years, Mom would ask me, “What is it going to be like at the end?” She did not want to go to a home. She visited people in homes and did not want the experience. I always replied, “We don’t know, but it will all work out. We will not abandon you.” Of course, I was speaking by faith, and we are so grateful for how it worked out. I wonder what she is doing now?

Margaret Bergen, my Mom, 1934-2022.

This is Margaret, my Mom, when she was our daughter’s age. 1958. One day she was a beautiful young lady trying to honor God and find her way through life. A few days later, with loved ones nearby, she crossed over to the other side to meet Him personally. Right to the end of her life, Mom had friends who had challenging circumstances and a gift to make many, including me, feel we were best friends, closer than others. I remember her thinking out loud near the end, “I wonder how God will work that all out?”

When I see the 1958 photo above, I wish I could time travel and visit with her, from our vantage point of today.

Tim Kubacki gave me some timeless advice for talking to children.
“It has been a long time since I was (your child’s age). What is it like?”
Ice cream, or breakfast at a restaurant, and silence are your friends. If all goes well you may have invaluable conversations with those you love.

Back Row: Clenildo, Rick, Deanna, Angelita
Front Row: My Mom and Deanna’s Parents; Margaret Bergen, Harold, and Joan Hansen

Deanna and her Mom, Joan Hansen, 1980s?

Zack, Via, Anni, Emma, Bella, & Tim

Deanna says this is her bouquet for Mother’s Day.

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Favorite Photos

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It was Emma’s birthday last week, one of the best days of our lives! I stopped building our pizza oven in the backyard to take Deanna to the hospital. We had just moved to Altamira to start the Xingu Mission and Vineyard churches. (NOTE: I merged three photos in Photoshop for this unique art. Thoughts?).

All is well.

The iguana posed for me while I took her photo.

We have come a long way together since March 31, 1991!